My friend Vern is always coming up with all kinds of new pictures and videos and comic relief but this one really hit the spot.  From very early on music has helped me through some tough times in my life.  Music can totally change my mood.  I love musicals and Opera and Symphony, and believe it or not Rap.  I love it all.  I can’t imagine how horrible it would be to be deaf. Allison and my brother Joseph would make me tapes of some of their favorite  tunes and send them to me when I was going through some tough times when I lived in San Francisco.  It kept me sane.

That being said I have always thought of how wonderful life would be if it were choreographed.  Wouldn’t it be great if you happened to be at the salvation army when the whole chapel broke into “Sit Down you’re Rockin the Boat”?  Maybe you’re in an old London bar and every one breaks into Oompah Pah.  Or lets say you decide to be a chimney sweep and you are lucky enough to end up on the dancing crew that does “Step in Time“.

I do sing at work and sometimes even dance a little.  Why don’t people join in?  I don’t get it.  It works on “Xanadu”.

I know flash mobs are getting a little passe but I still think they’re great.

So… on to the video.  Hope you enjoy and Thanks again Vern.

The aging process sneaks up on you quickly after you wave goodbye to your 40′s.  I decided that since I feel 18 on the inside I would try to make the outside a little closer to that than 80.  I figured that in your mid 50′s you can have a little work done with out ending up looking like Joan Rivers.  Here’s the step by step.

Me before.

Look at that neck and the saggy eye lids.  It’s surprising I’m allowed in public.

I look better already right?

The neck is done.  I think it’s fabulous.  Now for the eyebrows.

I think I look 20 years younger.  Craig seems to think I need a lawyer.  I’m not sure whether he means malpractice or divorce.  I think I’m stunning.  I just went on line and joined the Joan Rivers fan club.  I am having a hard time smiling.

I’ve never understood the appeal of sports.  Even the idea of competition to me is barbaric.  For every winner that feels great there’s a loser that feels like crap.  There is the person who worked incredibly hard all his or her life to be the best and just isn’t.  Then there are the lavish stadiums that hold enormous amounts of people cheering for one team or another to get the snot beat out of them.  Doesn’t this sound a little like Christians to the lions or Bullfighting?  Through the centuries we’ve stopped putting the loser to death even though sometimes the loser wants to die and that’s about the only thing that’s changed.  I think wars are started because some country wants to prove there the best or to be dominant over another.  Looking at it that way I guess we do still put the loser to death.  I could go on about how destructive I think competition is but I am in a vast minority.

That being said…I live with a sports nut.  My dear husband would rather sit on the couch and watch football all Sunday long than do any thing else.  It  gets even better if golf is on another  channel so he can flip back and forth.  For me the only thing worse than watching it is listening to it and why do all golf announcers have to be Australian.  Is the accent meant to make the commentary less annoying? 

When Craig and I met he was still rooting for BYU.  The same college that kicked him out for being gay.  Misplaced loyalty?  It took me years to break through that brainwash.  He does make more and more compromises for me as time goes by but he still sets the lap top on a chair next to him and puts on a sports channel so he can keep track of golf and football scores as we’re playing Cribbage.

Here come the pictures.  Does this look fun?

OK maybe that one does but how about this…

Ouch.  I guess for the millions they get paid they can put up with a little pain.  Besides, the fans love it when they bring out the stretcher.

This is a huge adrenalin rush.  don’t you think?

Then there are the stupid traditions that surprise them every time.

What’s next, Nascar and Curling?  I will draw the line.

Craig and I don’t really celebrate holidays.  We’re the bah humbug people.  Since Halloween is right around the corner I’m reminded of the one time we did celebrate.  Both of us were very much into an English comedy called Absolutely Fabulous, Ab Fab for short. It was about two drunk and very irreverent aging entitled rich women.  Neither of us had ever been interested in drag and had never done it.  Never say never.  We decided to drag out and become Patsy and Eddy.  My nephew Jay and his partner always  put together great parties which we were always invited to and never went.  This was our debut.  We were going to Jay’s Halloween party in drag.  Chris chauffeured us in his restored 61 Lincoln because at the time he was to young to drink and we wanted to, actually ended up needing to.  Eric sat in front with Chris and we were of course in the back.   

This is who we tried to look like.  Jay got it as he answered the door.  There were drag queens at the party who tried to engage me as if I were one of them.  I couldn’t imagine it because we were so thrown together.  Not serious at all.  One thing that was unanimous is that I have great legs (for a girl). Oh joy.

What do you think.  I think Craig looks like Betty Davis in What Ever Happened to Baby Jane and I look like my dads Cousin.  Do you like the new italics?  I have no idea how that happened but it’s pretty.

I obviously had a problem keeping my legs together but I had underwear and pantyhose.  It was real difficult going to the bathroom.  I understood why women go in pairs.  I was so uncomfortable and think that all men should have to do this to find out what women go through to get ready for anything.

The vodka bottles were a prop.  Just water and the crotch shots here are just a little much.

We were skinny when we smoked. 

     As you know from a previous post Craig and I became vegetarians about 5 months ago.  It was always just a test but  the more that time went by the more committed we became.  We both had health benefits in the beginning and Craig started losing weight like crazy.  I found fun recipes and started taking multivitamins in hopes of feeling even that much better.  After four months the squirrels at work started looking delicious, especially the plump ones.  I started looking at animals a little differently.

I think in our fifth month we were both feeling the same way but were continuing on for the other.  One day last week as we were putting groceries away Craig was showing me the lovely protein he had purchased for that nights meal.  It was a large gelatinous anemic tofu clump that slightly resembled chicken.  It was in a plastic bag and was marinating in “teriyaki sauce”.  The sauce was see through and kind of a medium yellow color.  I said ”that looks good”.  With that we settled down on the couch to unwind for the day and Craig said “what kind of health benefits are you getting from this”?  I said “aside from having to increase my blood pressure meds and having early in the day dizzy spells not much”.  He said” let’s order a Pizza”.  I said “what about your weight loss”?  I then found out that the day we became meatless eaters was also the day Craig quit stopping at McDonalds for a sausage McMuffin and also the day he gave up sugar.  I said how does a Canadian bacon Hawiian sound.  It was delicious.  Besides, all the vegetables and fruit I was murdering started to rebel.  It made me really nervous.

Craig and I live a  comfortable life but it’s very modest.  Big ticket items are not on our priority list, well, except my car.  To a lot of people my car is modest even though I think it’s an extravagance.  We cut back on building materials for the house.  We tore down the old, big deck and are building a much smaller one.  I transplant flora from work rather than buy any, and we both wear clothes until they’re rags but one thing we don’t scrimp on is vacation.

We love 5 star hotels.  There is nothing like paying people to treat you like royalty.  Park my car, get my bags, and I’ll take the turn down service please.  Last year we stayed at the Aria hotel in Las Vagas for a couple of nights before going to a family get together at Fish Lake, Utah.  It was lovely.

A couple of years ago we stayed in a suite at the Bellagio.  We loved the dancing fountain.  Every half hour it was a new song with new fountain choreography viewed from our floor to ceiling windows.  We loved the great room service and the even greater marble steam shower.  Tomorrow morning we’re heading out for the family get together but this year we’re spending three nights at a Bellagio penthouse.  Peel me a grape.

Enjoy the fountain.

     I worked myself into a frothy lather thinking about the flight to the east coast.  Then I saw the plane we’d be on.   I did feel a little better.

My iPhone and the “Haunted Mansion House of Mirrors” application made the 5 hour flight a little less horrifying.  We were met by our good friend Jason at the Charlotte airport.  He thought my smile meant that the flight was great.  What it meant was that I was finally on the ground.  Thanks Vern for the great photo. 

     Scott was waiting outside in the car.  We were driven through beautiful green, tree-covered rolling hills to their lovely very upscale home in a very lovely upscale neighborhood.  The house was warm and comfortable and very well appointed.  We were hobnobbing with the rich people.

     The next day we drove to Ashville, NC.  We toured the Biltmore mansion.  America’s largest home.

 It was a self guided tour, an absolutely amazing home and acres of gardens and lakes and waterfalls.  George Washington Vanderbilt was the one who had this built.  It was inheritance money from his grandfather.  The house was full of naked men paintings and statuary… not so much of the naked women.  His wife had her own bedroom and George’s bedroom doors had state of the art locks, fortress like.  Here’s a picture.  You decide.

     This mansion was so amazing and I was just wishing I could come back at midnight with a flashlight to complete my tour. 

     The next day we went to Charleston, South Carolina.  I’m a real history buff, but some history is unsettling.  I don’t like civil war history but there was enough earlier history to hold my interest.  This is one of the thirteen colonies and is the most charming little city I’ve ever seen.  These homes were here before the U.S. was the U.S.

Most of these homes had widow walks on the roof so they could look out for English ships coming in.  It was like going back in time.  The streets were very narrow and European like and I expected to see a Southern belle with an umbrella drinking a mint julip. 

     Scott and Jason treated us to a lovely suite in a Charleston hotel for the night.  Next day was back to Charlotte.

     I think we ate all their cashews and of course drank all their beer.  It was a great visit made comfortable by perfect hosts.  Thanks guys.  

     All of you who know me well know that I have my little obsessive compulsive issues.  I don’t know whether this fits under that category but I hate flying.  We have a trip to North Carolina coming up in a week or two and I’m terrified.  I’ve flown many times before but the flights have never been more than an hour and a half.  This one’s 5.  I know all about the stats on how safe it is and how your more likely to die riding an escalator but that doesn’t help.  Planes still come down.  I’m not afraid to die but I am afraid of that 20 minutes or so before I do.  That Morphine deprived quick trip to the earths surface.  What must it be like to know that your body parts will be unrecognizable and spread out over a very large area?  

     They say that flying is a lot safer than driving.  Tell that to Ritchie Valens.  The fact that I have an armed and ready airbag in my car aimed at my face is a little unsettling but a lot less so than all the passengers in first and business class and half of coach hitting you in the face instead. 

     Yes, there are also major control issues here.  I’m putting total strangers in charge of my well being.  I’m trusting that the people on the assembly line at Boeing are always in a very good mood and are well rested and enjoy working on the same @#&*)%$ circuit board day in and day out.  You know, the board that controls the flight control panel.  I’m hoping the the plane mechanic isn’t just pissed off enough about his wage cut that he doesn’t notice the frayed wire going to the landing gear.  I’m hoping that the pilot isn’t that upset that his wife of 12 years just dumped him for a younger man.  Do we even have to mention the people in the control tower? 

I had a friend once tell me that if I knew more about planes I’d be less uneasy.  I did some research.  I just assumed they were being pushed up by the air.  Nope,  they’re hanging from it.  The jet engines are held on by 1 pin each.  If a plane turns to sharply it can fall right out of the sky.  This is also true if the take off is too steep.  Gee I feel so much better.  I hope we don’t have turbulence cause if we do I’m coming back home on the train.

OK so I miss blogging already.  I still can’t think of anything interesting to post but I do have new news.  I think that most of you who know me or read this blog know that I have dipped my foot into the pool of western medicine due to blood pressure and glucose issues.  The side effects of the drugs they threw at me almost killed me.  That’s not an exaggeration.  I was forced to take control of my own health. 

     Craig and I became vegetarians about a month ago.  It just seemed to happen.  There was no planning or preparation of any kind.  We just decided to try it.  After a little under a month Craig has lost 14 LBS and my blood pressure is normal.  I’m not taking medication of any kind and we’re not on a diet.  We eat a lot of food and we eat often.  We don’t ever have that “omg” why did I eat so much feeling and we’re having fun coming up with new delicious recipes. 

     What it’s forced us to do is pay attention to everything we eat.  One minute we were eating things out of habit and the next we had to plan and make decisions about everything we consume.  It’s a lifestyle change and we don’t miss meat at all.  There are great meat substitutes out there that are surprisingly close in taste and texture.  We’re not vegan yet so we have been eating mollusks and crustaceans and salmon now and then.  We also love our cream sauces and cheese.  The rest of this post will be a pictorial of all the lovely food we’ve been making and eating.  People at my work think I’m crazy for taking pictures of food, but I just want to point out that we’re not suffering.

     This is one of our favorites.  We made it and enjoyed it when we were mega carnivores.  It’s crushed black beans with coleslaw mix stirred with cilantro, lime juice, feta cheese and green onions.  We like it with chipotle but any salsa will do.

     This was scrambled eggs with smoked salmon, lemon cream, and green onions with capers.

     These were new potatoes with a ginger yogurt sauce and home made garlic Naan.

     These were outrageous.  Stuffed poblano chiles with basmati rice, butternut squash, and cilantro cream.

     Another fave.  Muscles in an onion, tomato and white wine puree over jasmine rice.

     Wild king salmon on sweet corn grits with roasted tomato broth and baby arugula-basil salad.

     Then there are the Sunday, brunchy thingies.  I could go on and on.  I think I’ve taken a picture of everything I’ve put in my mouth for the last month.  You can see we’re not suffering and the benefits have been wonderful.

We  just visited Chris and Andrea and the kids in San Diego.  It was one of those trips that you wish you scheduled another day or two.  Right off we got serenaded with a guitar duet.  It was actually quite good.  After the concert we went out to the best sushi I’ve ever had.  It was a very young crowd, lots of energy.  I loved it.  The next day Chris and I put a new bumper on his truck and a new alternator on his jeep.                             

After Chris and I finished the  auto mechanics and Craig and Andrea were done with the soul searching thing we did a surf and turf  barbecue thing.  Chris made a wonderful barby shrimp and steak thing.  It was great.  After dinner we played cards.  I was captive.  Nobody on this planet can make me laugh as hard as Chris can.  He started in and didn’t stop.  I almost died.  I was on the floor trying to breath and my stomach hurt so bad.  Is this healthy?  It was a great weekend and we hope to do it again soon.  Vivian made a picture for our fridge.  It’s hanging there now.  Great trip.  We’ll go back soon.

I think blogs may have run their course.  Facebook is doing the same thing and more,  but I’m not going there.  I’m signing off for awhile until I feel like I have something interesting to say.