MY DAD
12 Jun 2010
My Dad. Quiet power. He could scold with a look and punish with few words. No volume, no drama, except that once. I borrowed the recently bought, slightly used Suburban to go pick up Sheila. It was winter and the roads were snow packed, but what did it matter? I was driving a four wheel drive. I was driving up our street, turning left onto the road in front of our house and lost control. I took out the nieghbor’s mail box and I think I even flattened ours. It knocked a hole in the grill of the car. The car came to rest in our driveway and Dad came running out. I was still behind the wheel scared to death. Dad opened the driver side door, red faced and said, “You…You…You… Shit head! That was it. Later he told me he wouldn’t have reacted that way if he hadn’t seen the whole thing happen from the dining room window. I put a couple of fog lights in the mangled front grill. It was never mentioned again.
I took a trip to San Francisco and borrowed Dad’s car. I was young and had no money but went anyway. Dad didn’t tell me it was a dumb idea, or no you can’t borrow the car even though it was winter in the Sierra. He just said ok. The car broke down in Truckee, Cal. in the middle of a blizzard. I slept in the car that night. The next day Mom and Dad wired me some money to fix the car. That night I was back on the road. On the way home the car broke down again. In the Sierra. I hitched a ride to Reno and spent the rest of the night trying not to look homeless. Very long story shorter, more money was wired, I was able to stay the next night in a motel. Dad and Mom drove their Blazer with car dolly to come and rescue me. I don’t know how much they spent. They didn’t ask me for a dime. In fact, Dad and I became really good towing buddies because of the junk cars I drove.
Dad has always been 100% supportive. When David got interested in guitar, so did Dad. When I was interested in cars, Dad signed us both up for night classes in auto mechanics. And Mark - we all went to his many gigs. When Joe was on stage at Gay Pride In SLC with Men Out Loud, Dad was on the front row proud as could be.
He and I went down the Snake River in a canoe once. I was the front paddle and he was the back. He was the one that was supposed to steer. He knew that but I couldn’t give up control. I sank us about three or four times the first day. I think that the second day I was scolded by a guide, I don’t really remember, but I let Dad steer. The rest of the three day trip was much more pleasent. That was never brought up again. I’ve got many more examples, but I think I’ll move on.
How about dad the family man. The guy who carried us to bed in a funny way. The guy who condensed words to make new ones, like deebucheebuggie (double cheese burger), or scome, (lets go home). And what was the deal at Dee’s. All the boys got a hamburger and a root beer and split a small fries and Mom got a cheese burger her own fries and a Coke.
Then there is the wonderful grandpa you are to my kids.
Happy Fathers day Dad. I love you.
13 Responses
2010 Jun 12
Thx Paul! Yeah, we’ve all got stories of Dad’s un-dying loyalty, strength, trust and love. I realized fairly early-on how trusting Mom and Dad were of us. My best friend once commented on how cool it was that I was allowed to take the car, tent, motorcycle, kayak, whatever it was didn’t seem to matter. And it’s not like we were always completely trustworthy with everything. I clearly remember backing that damn Suburban into a carport post and practically bringing down the whole damn thing! Didn’t seem to phase anyone. All part of the learning process I guess.
For me it’s always been about receiving unconditional love. About what I needed and wanted, what would make ME happy. I remember fighting, throwing tantrums, (alot), but i mostly remember being loved. People talk about un-doing damage from their childhoods caused by their parents…..I honestly don’t see any in mine. So, Dad, if you’re reading this, you did good. Very good. Be proud. I hope you are. And that you did a damn good job of raising a family who loves you as much as you love them!!
Happy, Happy Father’s day!!!
2010 Jun 13
This is so touching. You certainly did have great parents. I have very fond memories of you growing up and of being around your family. John still remembers his Uncle Kelly giving him assignments when we would go camping. To this day he could give an interesting talk on the history and culture of the Anazai’s. (Thanks Uncle Kelly) I always admired the way he took a great interest in anything you or your siblings took an interest in, like building a pigeon coop and learning all about those dirty birds, just because Joe was so interested in them. And the list goes on.
Thanks for posting this Paul and Happy Fathers Day Kelly.
Oh, and Paul, it rubbed off I think you are a great dad too!
2010 Jun 13
I’ve only been in the family for about 15 years now, but have felt like I belonged from day one. And that says a lot about Kelly and his total acceptance and unconditional love. I remember the Christmas that we were all shocked with the first batch of envelopes filled with large checks and my name was on one of them. I told your Dad that I couldn’t believe his generosity and stunned that he had included me he said, “Well, your just as much a son as anyone else. Why wouldn’t we include you?”
I’m very proud to be included as a son in this great family. Happy Father’s Day Kelly!
2010 Jun 13
Thanks for posting this, Paul! I have so many wonderful memories of my Grandpa Kelly. He and Grandma would always take me out for dinner and shopping on my birthday, when I was younger. I remember looking forward to that every year. I loved our fishing and camping trips. He is also the one who taught me how to fish and golf. He’s so accepting and loving of everyone. Justin isn’t very close to his grandfather, and Kelly treats Justin as his own grandson, and I am so glad they’ve developed such a great relationship.
And like Joe said, how he has no “un-damaging” to do from his parents, I can definitely say the same thing. My dad must have learned it all from his dad. They are such great people. Love you, Grandpa!!
(And thanks, Paul)
2010 Jun 14
It’s great to read these stories about Grandpa Kelly. Thanks for making this tribute, Paul. Like Ashley, my favorite memories are the fun birthday outings, sleepovers with cousins, fishing trips, and Sunday dinners at their house, as well as helping with his computer on ocassion. But most of all I appreciate the love and trust he always seems to radiate. Thanks for everything, Grandpa! Your parenting style must have rubbed off on my dad, too, who never seemed to blink an eye whenever I told him I wanted to go somewhere or do something. He always seemed to trust me. Thanks for raising a great father for me.
2010 Jun 17
I feel honored to have the opportunity to peek into your loving circle of family and friends thought your blog. All the stories about your Dad are heartwarming. The parents I know often comment on how they found themselves “channeling” their parents in ways they never expected as their raise their own kids. I’m glad you have such a great role model! I add my thanks to your Dad for his unconditional love to the son I now work with. Though we’ve never met, Kelly, I want you to know that you can be very proud of Paul. His humor, integrity, kindness, and skills have improved the lives and homes of literally hundreds of people and made my own work easier and more fun. Happy Father’s Day to both of you.
2010 Jun 17
Great post, Paul. Thanks for making this tribute to Dad.
Dad was not only my authority figure and role model, he was my friend. He had the ability to love unconditionally, as Joseph said, and I’m sure we all felt that. I believe that he does not yet realize what a great man he is. In my profession, I often come across former students and colleagues of his who fondly remember him and thank me for the positive influence he has had in their lives. He set an example that I’m still trying to live up to.
Whenever I see the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life” I think of Dad. The James Stewart character even resembles Dad at certain angles, don’t you think? Like George Baily, Dad was not monetarily rich, yet was generous to his family and to others. He was tolerant to a fault. He sat at home while others traveled to foreign countries and had experiences of which he should only dream. When Mom got sick, Dad became her primary care-give and seldom left her side. I have never seen such devotion and selflessness.
I remember him telling me once that he considers himself to be average. In fact he called himself “Mr. Average.” He noted his average height, average weight, average shoe size, average IQ. Well, Dad, I believe we can all attest that you are anything but average.
Dad, you are my hero. I love you with all my heart. Happy Father’s Day.
2010 Jun 17
I loved reading everyone’s comments and Paul’s memories and wanted to add my own. I have the best Father in law I could possibly have. I remember when Mark took me to meet his parents eighteen years ago. We had to go to the hospital where Mom was recuperating. I was pretty worried and stressed, but as soon as I saw Dad, I felt comfortable. He and Mom both put me right at ease, I felt accepted and like I could discuss anything with them. By the way, I noticed that Mark looks a lot like his Dad (strong family resemblance!) It didn’t take long before I felt like part of the family. Dad is a gentle, loving person, I loved watching him with our kids when they were little, but he’s also good with the older kids. He always took pictures when we visited and would give us the copies, and his were a lot better than mine. I was very impressed with the loving way he attended to Mom, and I’ve always appreciated his advice. Dad, I want you to know that I love you and thank you so very much for your help, love and example. You are the best.
2010 Jun 19
Hey grandpa,I have to show my respect to an amazing role model and great person.some of my happiest memories were with you fishing and of course the birthday splurge! when I read what my dad had wrote,I couldn’t help but think about the time I broke your fishing rod………you were very mad but only for a moment.you calmly explained the correct way to address a snag.I felt so bad and you could tell,it shows what really matters to you….cause I know you love your fishing rods!I’ve always admired you,and hope one day I can inspire as many people.
Love you Grampa happy fathers day
Eric
2010 Jun 19
I too, remember a laid back, caring and accepting man with a beautiful voice. The first time we met, he was introduced to me as my ‘father’ in the musical cast for Jenny. I look back with fondness on those years.
I also remember feeling panic as we drove on some mountain road in mid-winter (Kelly was driving). LOL. Not sure if it was to a family party at East Canyon, or on a trip to obtain fresh Christmas trees, but I recall looking out the window thinking we were far too close to the edge – certain we were going to tumble off of the cliff to our deaths! Fortunately, Kelly managed to keep the vehicle on the road and our lives were spared
And I was so appreciative of the time he and Carla took each year on the kid’s birthdays. They both mentioned it – and it’s true, that outing for dinner and shopping for a gift with grandma and grandpa was something they looked forward to every year.
Happy Father’s Day, Kelly. What great kids you’ve raised.
2010 Jun 20
Gramps, I read all these comments and my eyes well up with tears. I have become a father and realize, more than ever, how much your family means to you. I look back on the fishing trips, camping trips, sleep overs, and all the fun i had with you and Grandma over the years. It was a great time.
As I sit here and think back, the most powerful memories are of your srength and devotion. I remember when grandma got sick. I was very young, but I remember how strong you were through everything. i don’t know how you did it. Growing up was hard for me at times. I didn’t have the “typical” family. I tried to hide who my dad really was. Kids are mean and I was scared of what people would say or think. One day I went to the Gay Pride festival in Salt Lake with Dad to see Joe’s group perform. I was always a little nervous to go to those things, i didn’t know who would see me, I didn’t want to get hassled at school, just anxious. Then I see you making your way through the crowd, a lawn chair under each arm and grandma close behind. You went right to the front, plopped your chairs down as close to the stage as you could and sat there front row and cheered for Joe. You taught me something that day without knowing it. Thank you.
I love you Gramps. You are always there no matter what. If I can become half the father you are, my kids will be lucky. Happy Fathers Day!!
2010 Jun 20
What can I say? I don’t want to hurt anyones feelings but you are my favorite bonus through marriage to Ashley! I have a real grandpa who wants to take me fishing and who likes me for who I am! Never had that before. It is so refreshing to be able to be myself around you! I can’t be myself around a lot of family, which is kinda sad. Thank you so much for all you have taught me. Not just about fishing, but about being a great man that everyone loves, about loving unconditionally and mostly about being honest and true to yourself. I hope we have many more fishing trips to come! Love you grandpa!
Justin
2010 Jun 26
Uncle Kelly,
I am a little late in posting but wanted to take the opportunity to add my love and admiration. I have very fond memories of you and Aunt Carla. I feel fortunate to have grown up with so much love abounding from so many people. I remember going on walks while camping and learning about the various plants and flowers, and birds from you. I remember the ribbons Aunt Carla would knit/crochet for our hair. I remember after my father died feeling safe, loved, and closer to him when you would hug me.
You are an amazing example of unconditional love. Thank you.
I love you Uncle Kelly.
Love,
Amy